It’s been 15 months since she left her home. 15 months since she took that decision and made the choice to do what she felt was best for her.

Looking back and seeing how difficult the past 12 years of her life had been, she gave herself a mental pat on her back for how far she had come.

She was still trying to find her feet, but she was a lot more at peace than she had been in the past 12 years. And what used to be glimmers of hope, were now tangible and the future looked a lot better. She was in a better place.

She was glad she had followed her heart and not backed out, for fear of what people would say or think. She would have remained trapped by the standards society had set for her as a married woman.

With the things she suffered right after she moved out of her home – the condemnation and criticism, the rejection and near curses – it took a lot for her stick to her decision.

Moving out of her home was one thing, moving out to another country with 2 kids was a risk that could have destroyed her, but she was determined to make it work.

The first few months were tough. Everyday she was tempted to call her husband to tell him they were coming back.

But with each passing day, she adjusted to the new life, and in her girls, she found the strength to keep going.

She had just finished showing her work at an art exhibition and was feeling incredibly proud of herself. Three of her paintings had been paid for on the spot and it made her euphoric.

What she was being paid now was more than triple what she was being paid just a few years ago. She didn’t have a choice then, she knew her work was worth a lot more, but she needed to survive.

In the past 3 months, things had turned around for her. It was a 180 degrees rotation. She had almost given up on that happening, but somehow she knew in her guts that giving up was not an option.

She sat in a corner observing the flow of people coming in and going out of the gallery, she watched how they admired the paintings and all the other artwork being exhibited.

Some people stood by negotiating prices while others wrote cheques without any considerations to the quoted costs. She smiled, elated by the fact that her work was up there too and people saw the value in it.

She had always known the power money wielded. She knew from the time she was a young girl that she was going to have plenty of it. Not just enough to survive like her parents, but enough to enjoy the finer things in life.

As a little girl, everyone called her ‘Lady T’. She was prim and proper with impeccable manners. She was soft spoken and very articulate with an air of confidence around her.

Her brother often made jokes about how she wasn’t meant to be born into their class of society. “You’re here by mistake Lady T” he’d say. “You belong to the upper echelon”.

Everyone else thought so too, including her parents, but she never lost sight of her reality. She was humble and kind and very compassionate.

She didn’t grow up poor but her parents weren’t rich either. She saw how they struggled to give her and her siblings the best life they could afford. She loved and appreciated them deeply and knew the only way to honor them was to be successful.

She was taught contentment and the value of working hard to make a living. She was taught not to totally depend on people or seek handouts.

She grew up with that and made sure she was never idle. At every point in time, her hands found something to do. She strongly believed it was only a matter of time before she’d start to make enough money to live her ideal life.

She loved the finer things in life. As a young teenager, she’d spend her free time looking through the pages of Cosmopolitan, Elle and Vogue magazines. She knew all the fashion designers and learned about all the beautiful cities in the world.

“Someday soon”, she’d say to herself, she will be able to afford all these nice things and visit all these beautiful places. She didn’t want so much, she just wanted to be able to enjoy the beauty life had to offer. Content she would always be but never mediocre.

She loved the idea of being financially independent and responsible for herself as an adult. It felt good to be catered to and taken care of by other people but what felt better and made her feel complete was owning her own.

She had once been with a guy who took care of her and spoilt her silly with material things, but with the niceties went her freedom. He dominated her and wanted to be in control of her life.

He’d withdraw his generosity when he was upset with her and use his money as a way to get out of a messy situation that required an apology or change of attitude. That wasn’t the type of woman she was, that wasn’t the type of life she wanted. She ended the relationship.

Never one to depend on another to survive, she was okay with not marrying rich. What was important to her was for her man to be responsible and driven and she believed together they could achieve all they wanted.

And so at the age of 24, she met her husband, who was 28 years old and they fell in love. He didn’t have a lot of money but he had prospects. They talked about their future and less than a year later, they got married.

She spent the first 5 years of marriage birthing and raising 2 beautiful girls and fully supporting her husband, trying to build the family she had always dreamt to have. She strived to be a supportive wife and a loving mother, sacrificing everything to make her home thrive.

Apart from painting, she did some art and craft designs on the side which she sold to Primary and Secondary schools. And every once in a while, she was able to sell some of her big paintings.

She put in all the money she made from her sales and all her savings into supporting her husband’s business projects. “Be a help meet”, she knew the Bible said and that’s exactly what she did.

Once the girls were older and settled into school, she’d pick up the pace of her craft and expand her business, her husband would support her. That was what they had discussed. That was his promise to her.

She trusted him and hardly questioned his financial decisions, the important thing was that he was making progress with his business. Things were looking good.

Unfortunately, life as she saw it was just a figment of her imagination. Nothing happened as she had imagined and hoped it would.

By the time she turned 30, the dreams of touring the Uffizi gallery in Florence and a boat ride on the Grand Canal in Venice, shopping on 5th avenue in New York and experiencing nights in Shanghai had become so distant, she could barely afford to make an interstate trip within the country.

The next 5 years found her facing reality, the reality that she was married to a narcissist. All the promises to support her became null and void. She was accused of being selfish and not being submissive.

Many times, he’d report her to their church Pastor, twisting the reports to make him look like the victim. Every time, she’d sit there numb with shock, unable to defend herself, he always sounded so convincing.

She often time got chided for not exhibiting the fruits of the Holy Spirit and was advised to go into the war room and pray that like Esther, she’d find favor before her husband.

It didn’t matter to anyone that he was a philanderer and that he was spending money that could go into supporting her on his philandering. “He’s only sowing his wild oats” they’d say in his defense.

“You’re the one who needs to be patient and prayerful, remember satan is on the prowl to steal, kill and destroy” She was often reminded.

She had become exhausted and frustrated from being constantly exhausted. She knew it was only a matter of time.

She continued to paint and believed so strongly that her success and financial freedom will come from there. All she needed was the right platform and a good support system.

It was her God-given talent and had become her escape from the reality that now gave her sleepless nights.

Time went by and reality separated her further from her dreams. Painting after painting, she kept believing the next finished work will be her big break to a fat bank account that could afford her her ideal life.

Her girls were doing great and they gave her so much joy. She had come to painfully accept the reality of her marriage, the reality that she no longer felt any emotions towards the man she called husband and felt stifled being with him.

Everyday she prayed her fortune will change. It did change, but only for worse. Her husband’s business suffered a major setback that threw him in heavy debts, and that’s when truths were revealed that almost drove her insane.

All the investments they had supposedly made to support them at a time like this happened to be non existent. They had nothing to fall back on, absolutely nothing. How could she have been so foolish? She hated herself for being so foolish. Her life had suddenly become a nightmare.

All she wanted to do was get out and start life afresh but she was trapped, financially incapable of taking care of the girls by herself.

She wallowed in self pity for weeks, filled with regret. There was no one for her to share with, she hardly ever shared her life with anyone. She was too embarrassed to let anyone know what she was dealing with.

She felt her phone vibrate as she brought her mind back to the present. It was another credit alert, another painting had been sold. She could really get used to this. She couldn’t wait to get home to her girls.

 

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This episode introduces us to the life of our second character and the experiences that have led her to fight for her financial freedom.

Over the years I have come to realize how important money is in the life of every individual. In marriage, even more so. Not just having access to it but having control over how it controls the dynamics of your relationship.

As with other things, our patriarchal society leaves the woman at the losing end. Let’s see how she will be able to hold on to her financial freedom and still be accepted in the society as worthy of being called a woman.

See you in the next episode. I look forward to the feedback, always puts a smile in my heart…

Your favorite storyteller,

Jay