I don’t think I had ever experienced a prouder moment than this one.

Seated in the school’s large auditorium beside my wife, Zola, surrounded by other parents, families, friends, members of staff and administrators, I watched as Anuoluwa walked to the stage and collected award after award for her academic excellence and outstanding performances in sports and social activities.

My star girl. Every time her name was called, I cheered like a man without borders. And when they announced her as the overall best student in her year group, I didn’t even try to contain myself.

I was on my feet before I realised what I was doing. I walked to the stage and pulled her into my arms.

She laughed, embarrassed, trying to escape my grip as the audience watched.

I eventually let her go, but not before planting a kiss on her forehead and blowing her another one as I returned to my seat.

“You are such a fool for this girl,” Zola said, shaking her head with a smile.

“Allow me to bask in my foolery for having such a smart and beautiful twelve-year-old girl who happens to be our daughter.”

I kissed her forehead.

Zola laughed.

“What are you getting her this time? Her own private jet?”

I turned to her dramatically. “You genius woman”

“Now I see where Anu gets the beauty, brains and brawn from. The apple clearly didn’t fall far from the tree.”

She rolled her eyes as she gave me a light punch on my upper arm.

I flinched like I was in pain.

“That is why I must immediately leave this place and go make enough money to buy that private jet.”

She laughed.

“Make dinner reservations for us and send me the location. I’ll join you both as soon as I’m done with my meeting.”

I paused, and looked at her.

“Thank you for blessing me with such happiness, Zee, you mean the world to me.”

My voice softened even more. “I love you Zola.”

For a brief moment, everything felt perfect.

She looked back at me with that look that anchors me.

“I love you too Olayiwola.”

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Cracks in the Glass

Part One: The Fall

As much as I resisted it, therapy had become my only option.

I needed to talk to someone. The silence was eroding my soul.

The three months since my fallout with Tolani has been the darkest of my life.

Many times I find myself staring at my phone, hoping it’d ring. I can’t stop wondering if she would ever forgive me.

The first time I met Layi, it was at a team retreat in Nairobi, Kenya.

He had facilitated a group therapy session for my team.

I couldn’t explain it, but something about him stayed with me long after the session ended. There was a calmness and quiet confidence about him.

Before the end of the retreat, I booked a private session with him.

As I stepped into the reception of his office building, I knew I had made the right decision.

The subtle scent of patchouli, bergamot, sandalwood and lavender settled my racing thoughts.

The walls wore soft shades of cream and sage green.

Nature-themed artwork hung neatly against the walls, filling the room with an unexpected sense of peace.

I confirmed my appointment with the receptionist before she directed me towards a door with a brushed brass plaque that read,

ROOM 88

For reasons I couldn’t explain, my heartbeat slowed. Layi stood as I entered.

We exchanged greetings before he gestured towards the two-seater leather couch.

Behind him, the wide windows overlooked a stretch of trees, their leaves swaying gently in the morning breeze.

He disappeared briefly to a small refreshment station at the corner of the room.

“Tea?”

I smiled nervously.

“Green tea would be nice. Thank you.”

He returned, handing me the cup and saucer before taking his seat opposite me.

For a few seconds, neither of us spoke. I waited for a cue to go ahead or hoped he’d begin the session.

Finally he smiled.

“Is it alright if I call you Alero?”

“Absolutely.”

I wrapped both hands around the teacup, grateful for something to do with them.

“So” he said.

“What brings you here?”

The question sounded simple, but I didn’t know how to answer. I was quiet for what could have been up to two minutes, thinking of the best way to articulate my response.

“I’ve ruined a very important relationship in my life.”

Layi didn’t interrupt, he simply nodded.

I looked down into my cup.

“I don’t know where to begin.”

“Begin where your mind keeps returning.”

I could feel his eyes on me, I swallowed hard.

“My best friend caught me..…mmm..aking out with her son.” I stuttered.

I repeated the words in my head.

My throat tightened and my stomach twisted. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

And when I finally looked up, I waited for the look of shock, an expression of disdain or at the very least discomfort.

Instead he asked unnerved,

“What happened after she saw you?”

My brows furrowed and my palms became moist from sweat.

“I’ve never actually thought beyond that moment.”

He nodded. “Take your time.” He took a sip of his coffee.

I took another sip of tea.

“The morning keeps replaying in my head.”

I closed my eyes for a brief moment and let out a deep breath.

“Kunmi and I had gone out the night before. He was supposed to drop me at home and go back to his, but we got carried away talking.”

“We talked into the night and fell asleep on the couch.”

I could see it all again.

“I woke up around 6am, brushed my teeth and made a cup of coffee, he was still asleep.”

I smiled despite myself. The memories of that night did something to me I can’t describe.

“He looked…peaceful”

Layi remained silent.

“I remember standing there watching him. Kunmi and I had been together for over a year and I had fallen in love with him.”

I picked up the cup of tea and circled the rim with my index finger. The confession surprised me. I didn’t realise I’d said it out loud.

Layi leaned forward slightly and adjusted himself on the couch and then he asked,

“What’s the strongest emotion you’re feeling at the moment?”

I looked at him for the first time and held his gaze for a few seconds before looking away.

“Guilt, Shame, Fear… The look in Tolanis eyes when she opened the door and saw us. I was kneeling in between his legs, my head down…” My voice cracked.

I cleared my throat. “What kills me the most is the fact that she didn’t scream, she didn’t utter a word, she just looked at us, her eyes moving back and forth from me to Kunmi”

I got up slowly as I pressed my hands together pleading, while Kunmi struggled to pull up his trousers and fasten the zip.

I watched as the tears fell down her face, her lips quivering and her hands shaking uncontrollably. She burst into heavy tears, took one last look at us, closed the door and left.

“That morning has haunted me every single day. I have sent numerous text messages and emails. I have sent her voice notes and called her several times.”

“The silence is killing me.”

Layi let those words sit between us. I watched him as he picked at a crack in the arm rest of the couch he sat in, wondering what was coming next.

He got up and walked back to the refreshment station.

He made me another cup of tea and offered me some biscuits.

He went back to his chair, picked up his notepad and wrote in it before he said,

“Tell me about your friendship with Tolani”

 

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Hi guys, it’s session 1 with Alero.

• Do you think Alero deserves a response from Tolani?

• Is there a level of betrayal that can not be forgiven?

Share your thoughts in the comments and remember to share the link.

The door to Room 88 will be open again next week.

It’s your favorite story teller

Olujare